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Post by Inquisitor Loki on Oct 23, 2006 17:43:15 GMT -5
Reserved
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Post by Inquisitor Loki on Jul 9, 2007 0:19:51 GMT -5
I decided to try writing this again so I edited the prolouge a little and tomorrow I hope to start rewriting chapter one.
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Post by Uesugi on Jul 9, 2007 11:59:19 GMT -5
almost instantly yelled Sounds awkward. a obedient an
Interesting story so far. Can't wait for more.
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Post by Inquisitor Loki on Jul 9, 2007 12:07:48 GMT -5
Thanks for the advice, the whole reason I took up this story again is to get back into the hang of writing before I move on to one of the ideas I have been wanting to do so if anyone has more advice I will like to hear it.
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Post by Inquisitor Loki on Jul 9, 2007 19:55:24 GMT -5
I added the intro that is in the beginning of every Wh40K Novel so that you can get a little backstory.
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Post by BloodMoonWolf on Jul 10, 2007 7:57:47 GMT -5
ooooh coool story. THo I know nothing of warhammer but I liked it.
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Post by Inquisitor Loki on Jul 10, 2007 12:34:38 GMT -5
I will try to keep it simple and I will post links explaining anything that might be confusing for non-wh40k fans once they occur.
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Post by Inquisitor Loki on Jul 10, 2007 14:39:50 GMT -5
I posted the first half of chapter one.
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Post by Uesugi on Jul 10, 2007 14:47:52 GMT -5
When he first joined the Imperial Guard, Vauran just like most new recruits. Incomplete sentence. Vauran an the rest of the Courren 97th Rifles and Loki, I am curious: you British? Well, anyway, the story seems to be progressing along quite well. It's nice not to have to point out a bunch of errors, so good job on that ^_^ Like it so far, can't wait for more.
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Post by Inquisitor Loki on Jul 10, 2007 14:51:14 GMT -5
I am not British but the Black Library(The Warhammer publisher) is based in Europe and most of the writers are British so I am trying to stick with the writing style. I didn't realize that is sounded so British yet?
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Post by Inquisitor Loki on Jul 10, 2007 14:51:50 GMT -5
Also I will fix all the mistake you pointed out once I am done with chapter one
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Post by Uesugi on Jul 10, 2007 14:54:17 GMT -5
Doesn't sound too British, but I noticed the single quotes, which most Americans don't use.
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Post by Inquisitor Loki on Jul 10, 2007 14:58:09 GMT -5
Yeah every Warhammer 40k book uses those I usually use the double quotes.
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Post by Uesugi on Jul 10, 2007 20:54:18 GMT -5
you are way to gullible To, too, two. I'll give you a hint: you used the wrong one. I now what I saw guys and you will never change my mind. He may have seen it now, but in this case, I think he simply knows it.
Decent enough second part. I don't know if you want us commenting as you update each part, but I'm bored and had nothing to do at the moment. The dialogue could be a bit more fleshed out, but seems decent enough. As always, looking forward to more (and it is nice to see you writing, loki).
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Post by Inquisitor Loki on Jul 10, 2007 21:43:56 GMT -5
Yeah Dialogue is sometimes my weakpoint and I don't mind you giving me advice, I plan on fixing everything you pointed out once I am done with the chapter.
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