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Post by Uesugi on Apr 15, 2007 0:43:30 GMT -5
Maybe your issues. Mine were with the terrible rank system, the social hierarchy, the poor administration, etc. Though, really, how hard is it to read... Easier than writing, that's for sure...
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Post by me on Apr 15, 2007 0:44:05 GMT -5
Very true!
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Post by me on Apr 15, 2007 3:36:28 GMT -5
The dreadnoughts and battleships had pulled to the front of the formation. Dozens of beacons pinged inside of the asteroid belt, each a friendly vessel. The enemy had finally reached the belt, and enemy corvettes and star fighters were currently navigating the belt, trusting him not to fire when his own ships were on the line.
They had enough ships to defeat the screen inside the ships inside the asteroid belt. Admiral Hawkes only smiled, before lifting his hand, and giving the order to fire. The beacons inside the field were false, mere decoys. Blue ions flashed through the floating rocks, occasionally crashing into one of the asteroids, sending fragments of rock flying into the enemy formation.
Bright explosions fueled by atmospheric gases and reactive elements in starship reactors, flashed against a backdrop of black. "Send in the star fighter, corvette, and missile boat assault groups," he ordered.
"Sir what about the other fleet elements?"
"Tell them to hang back."
"Aye, sir." ***
"We have a green light, Avenger Squadron, weapons are free," the squadron commander shouted over the comm. He slammed the throttle to full, and pulled into the asteroid belt. He immediately regretted his decision, as an asteroid floated into his path. He pulled back on the stick, flying above the gigantic boulder.
As soon as he cleared the obstacle he dived down onto his original path, and only then did he pull back on the throttle. Sensor contacts began appearing on his screen, apparently the barrage hadn't worked as well as they had all hoped. He yelled into his comm, "Scopes are lit up, prepare to kick some ass!"
"Cut the chatter three, and split into your flight groups."
Each squadron of twelve was split into three flight groups, and he was the leader of the third group. "Avenger group three we have left, now lets do this!"
His flight group closed on an opposing squadron of Hydras, his targeting screen lit up as digital cross hairs appeared in the center of the screen. He once again maxed the throttle, and removed the safeties on the booster. His hand tightened on the second trigger, and a cannon bolt flashed toward the enemy ships.
The enemy squadron scattered into its separate flight groups, and each approached their flight group from different angles. Bolts of energy began to pour in from all angles. He quickly went into a dive, then barrel rolled behind a large asteroid. He saw chunks of rock fly off his cover, and pulled straight up using the maneuvering thrusters on the bottom of the Hydra.
He rose into view of his enemies, and quickly centered his sights on one, and pulled both triggers. A single solid bolt of energy followed by a stream of weaker bolts. He twitched the controls in a small circle caging his opponent with streams of energy. A bright fireball lit the area as his target was incinerated, and he slammed the throttle once more to maximum.
He half expected to hear the explosion, but the silence of space proved even more unnerving. Still it was one enemy down, and many more to go.
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Post by Uesugi on Apr 15, 2007 13:10:12 GMT -5
sites=sights.
Y'know, I'm curious... How can there be fire in space?
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Post by me on Apr 15, 2007 14:56:13 GMT -5
The ships have atmosphere inside of them which acts as the...whats the word...oxygenant?
Anyway which combines with the things that actually would burn...it usually creates more of a flaer then a fire....but fire sounds better
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Post by me on Apr 15, 2007 18:16:19 GMT -5
*Cough*
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Post by me on Apr 22, 2007 21:15:38 GMT -5
*Coughs twice*
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Post by me on May 12, 2007 2:18:36 GMT -5
"Admiral, a probe launched by fleet carrier Revelations has revealed an Ion Cannon," a naval rating shouted.
"Where is it?" he immediately replied.
The main display shifted include the picture currently occupying the ratings console. It was a tactical map of the entire system, depicting both fleet groups, as several unidentified enemy masses. A box formed around one glowing mass, and it resolved into something feared by all captains, a large circular station with a colossal cannon running through the center.
It had the capability to fling a bolt of solidified energy across half a system, with enough power to instantly destroy small to medium sized ships. When the kinetic energy didn't destroy a ship, the energy blast itself could finish the job. Electrical surges that resulted from the blast could obliterate unshielded circuits.
To a naval captain, it was a scourge. The only solace was that they were so hard to build, as well as supply. Though that wouldn't matter, because with the backing of an Ion Cannon, even a small fleet could pose a significant challenge.
They were safe though, the asteroid belt stood between them and the enemy cannon, but they only had a small amount of maneuvering room. If they were to enter the asteroid belt, or too many degrees to polar north or south, they would be at the mercy of the enemy cannon.
"Repurpose our missile boats, tell them to cloak and take that cannon down. One of our infiltrators is to accompany them."
"Aye, aye." ***
He snap rolled left, then pulled into a steep climb. The two fighters tailing him skillfully duplicated the maneuver, both spraying the area around him with high powered bolts of energy. The stick danced under his skillful manipulations, always staying half a step ahead of his enemies.
"Three, go south. Lets play some chicken," he heard over his flight groups channel. Without thinking he slammed the stick forward, sending his ship into a dive. The thruster slid forward almost of its own accord, as if the ship understood his need. It was only then that he realized that his hand was resting on the throttle. Were the problems in his personal life affecting him that badly? or was it some other deep rooted psychological problem?
Another Hydra was screaming toward him, a duet of fighters tailing it as well. He adjusted his trajectory several inches, and stood the fighter on its wing. The distance was closed in an instant, and both fighters passed within inches of each other. They simultaneously fired altitude adjustment thrusters, using the other ship as a springboard, and rocketing in opposite directions.
The ships nose swept "downward" scything blue ions across the enemies. One of the enemies disintegrated into thousands of pieces, in an oddly anti-climatic death. A bolt pierced the second fighters cockpit, filling it with blue lightning, for a second he thought he could see the pilot being transformed into carbon.
"Thanks,-" he had to look down at the IFF transponder to see who had saved him. It bothered him that he had to; he should have been able to tell exactly who had saved him through after hearing him over the radio. "-Warlock. Wheres the rest of our group?"
"Coming up right behind you, Snipes," he heard over his comm.
"You haven't gotten rid of Merlin and I just yet," a second voice sounded.
They, pulled away from the cloud of fighters, and he took the opportunity to wipe some of the sweat that had begun accumulating on his forehead. The strategic band suddenly came alive, as the enemy fleet began maneuvering below the asteroid belt. Orders began to filter through, telling all fighters that could disengage, to harass the enemy ships.
It seemed like madness, but unfortunately he couldn't disobey an order coming over the strategic band. Right now he had tactical control of his flight group, and as such, the survival of the three men under his command was his first priority. He felt his duties clash, but in the end strategy won the battle.
"By the numbers, how much flight time do you have left?"
"Ten here, enough battery left to finish the fight."
"Eleven, slight energy fluctuations, but everything has stabilized.'
"Twelve, battery is still running strong."
"OK, lets strip some teeth off of those ships," he said, letting false bravery creep into his voice. They would probably die, shot down by countless flak cannons, but they would make sure the enemy paid dearly.
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Post by Uesugi on May 13, 2007 22:14:10 GMT -5
Looks good. Read through it a bit fast, though. Shame I have to hurry. Be careful with show and tell. Show us what happens with the ships cannons, etc. Anyways, can't wait for the next update.
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Post by me on May 13, 2007 22:16:53 GMT -5
It will be up soon
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Post by me on Jun 25, 2007 5:28:32 GMT -5
Controlled chaos, it sounded like an oxymoron, but that was what raged around him. The TAC board was updated every few seconds by yet the diligent crews manning the constantly updated displays, yet the board was only good for showing ship strength and numbers. In the three dimensions of space no chart or screen could accurately relay information concerning ship movement.
That line of thought was only confirmed by the by the appearance of a naval rating at his shoulder. "Admiral! LADAR, as well as visual confirmation, reports the enemy fleet group moving under the asteroid field. ETA is ten minutes," the rating quickly shouted.
Clever bastard leading that fleet. He knows that the only way to beat me, is to force my fleet into the Ion Cannons line of fire. Even if I don't move my smaller ships will effectively block any return fire. I can't even reposition my fleets effectively before they arrive, unless I want to expose my ships to Ion fire.
There was really only one way to counter the move, and that would be to hope that the missile boats were able to dismantle the cannon in time. There was only one other thing he could do, and though he would hate giving the order, it would be a necessary sacrifice.
"Relay this order to the assault groups, all forward elements are to attack the enemy fleet. I want the fighters in first, then the corvettes and missile boats are to move in. They are only to attempt this if they can safely pull away from the current engagement," he shouted to the comm officer.
He turned to once again face the main view screen, which was currently showing the feed from the camera facing the battle. As per regulations, many of the stars in the background were filtered out. He could have used something to take his mind off the people he was about to send to his death, but that was probably why the rule had been set into affect. To force men to consider the consequences of their actions. ***
"Captain, missile boats are in position, and ready to fire at your command."
"ELINT vessels report little enemy activities in the area. We're in the clear, cap'n."
"All tubes are loaded, and ready to fire. Awaiting your signal"
"Cloak is holding strong. We should have enough time to get back to the fleet."
Reports flooded in around him, each detailing the small groups state of readiness. All the missile tubes were hot, and the non-essential crewmen had moved to their quarters. It was only after the last report came in, that he looked up at his target. It was a massive steel gray construct. A massive ball sat in the center of a gray ring, that connected to the lower half of the ball with several connecting struts.
A large cylindrical tunnel seemed to extend several meters from both ends of the massive ball. It rotated along with the upper half of the station along the ring that was attached to the lower half of the station. Staring down the gullet of the weapon sent a chill down his spine.
Its destruction would mean the survival of his fleet, and that helped him give the order. Screw the people on that station, they were the enemy, and they would kill him if they had the chance. "All ships open fire!"
High yield missiles jumped from their tubes, sailing through the empty space that stood between the ships and missiles and their targets. They slammed into the station, and tore into the outer hull by virtue of kinetic energy alone. They detonated, tearing the armored hull apart, for an instant fire raged, burning with unbelievable intensity.
For the people inside the station, it was Armageddon. ***
James Hydock, otherwise known as Snipes, was about to lead his flight group into a veritable grinder made of flack cannons, and blue ion bolts. On his wing was Warlock, behind him Merlin, and Click. With a whispered prayer, he slammed the throttle forward. He was pressed back into his seat, knuckles white from the grip he had on the control stick.
"Split into pairs! We don't want to risk massed fire," he shouted over the group channel.
"Affirmative," he heard Merlin shout over the comm, just before he banked off, Click right behind him.
"Warlock, I have lead. Lets strip the guns off the lead battleship."
"Roge'o, Snipe," Warlock said over the comm.
He drove his ship into the fray, still out of the enemy flaks range. He maneuvered the ship into firing range, without the usual grace he had when flying the ship. His ship turned with all the grace of a wounded animal. His first time in combat, and he was already cracking. Come back alive, make her happier.
The words of the mechanic he had been talking to came to mind. He lightened his grip on the stick, letting his finger tips rest lightly on the stick. The ship danced around the flack directed at his fighter, slowing and accelerating as whatever had force that led him beckoned. Glowing red shells passed around his ship, sometimes mere feet away from his cockpit.
He finally came within firing range, and pulled back on both triggers, sending a continuous stream of ion bolts toward the gray plates protecting the battleship. A single large bolt crashed into the ships hull, sending a large fountain of liquefied metal streaming into space. Smaller bolts fell around it, sending even more silver streams rushing into the cosmos.
The ship jumped forward as the afterburners activated, seemingly by themselves. He pulled out of his dive, just before he hit the solidified metals that floated just above the surface of the ship. He fired the retro thrusters, stopping the ship under the flak's minimum depression, and fired into the ships weapons.
His wingman pulled in besides him with an excited shout, "Damn! Nice flying LT!"
"OK, start chewing, we need a hole big enough for the rest of the fighters to get through," he shouted back over the comm. Chewing, killing the enemy one cannon at a time. Already a visible gap in the enemy defenses had appeared, a hole that other fighters could easily exploit.
It was the only way for a fighter to wage war. Especially on a capital ship. He was only distracted by Warlock speaking over the comm.
"You know, when this is over I'm going to write a book. I'll call it, Starfighters, not for use against facking capital ships. "
If only the Admiralty knew that.
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Post by Uesugi on Jun 25, 2007 13:44:42 GMT -5
ETA of their arrival is ten minutes No, you. Bloody redundant. and and Click I never knew a narrator could have a stutter... Interesting idea... Chewing, a term that had only been recently created, in fact he had made it up on the spot. It meant exactly what it sounded like, cutting up the enemies defense's one cannon at a time. DO NOT break from the story. Ever. It slows the action, takes the reader out of the story, and offers them something that a thought or, better yet, a literary example could have. You could have written instead that the ships started firing and damaging the cannons one at a time.
It was an alright read, though not up to par with what you can usually do. I enjoyed it nonetheless. I would suggest naming more than just the one-off character. I have no idea who the two characters in the first two sections are... At all. And, what is with the asterisks scattered about in your story. Two spaces, mate. Works far better, and doesn't look any bit cluttered.
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Post by me on Jun 25, 2007 13:54:50 GMT -5
Sorry, I guess I am sorta out of practice =_=
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Post by me on Jun 25, 2007 13:58:42 GMT -5
And it is modified...
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