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Post by Dagothkitty on Apr 27, 2007 10:01:06 GMT -5
Their was an unusual concentration of militia in the city. They were probably clearing a way for their armor brigades, so they could travel through the city safely. But their wasn;t any shooting, not from where I could see it. Their was no smoke, no exploasions, just odd silence. I was not use to such a setting, and so I squirmed in the sand uncomfortably, waiting for something to happen.
The rest of my unit was behind me, they were talking with a small platoon of HUMVEES that were heading around the city to restock an artillery camp. I looked through my scope, and my sight was now two crosshairs. My vision was now increased to a ten times maginifcation. Now, I was the watcher.
I coulde hear the roar of the HUMVEES engines, which signified that they were on their way. Now, that distrction was gone. Now it was me, by myself, in my sanctuary. This sanctuary was hell.
The streets were clear. Only garbage and scraps of paper fluttered around in the dusty streets. The sky was unusally dark for being in the desert. The sun's strength, which seemed to multiply when one was in the desert, was subdued by heavy clouds. Dark clouds. I took this as an ill omen, but I wasn't going to be dragged down.
It was seven o'clock now. My unit was busy at building their sleeping holes, but yet I remained. My finger brushed the trigger. The vision swayed. Sweat condensed all over my uniform. Waiting.... watching. "Advance, advance, never retreat!" That was my mentailty. But I didn;t relize how blind I was when I repeated that phrase to myself on those sandy slopes. I wish I would have done the opposite of that quote...
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Post by me on Apr 27, 2007 15:52:00 GMT -5
Capitalize the first letter of a sentence, and you used the wrong there.
Some odd word choice, but otherwise a good beginning to a hopefully as good story
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Post by Dagothkitty on Apr 27, 2007 15:54:46 GMT -5
Thanks.
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Post by me on Apr 27, 2007 15:57:37 GMT -5
Your Welcome
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Post by Dagothkitty on Apr 27, 2007 16:17:09 GMT -5
I reluctantly pulled away from my scope, departing from my tool that defined me. The night was rapidly approaching, and soon it would be impossible for me to observe the city through the dark. I had no night vision, or thermal vision at the time, so I returned to my barracks.
The darkness descended upon the Earth hastily, and I hussled to get to my bed within the temporary barracks. There was no gun shots, as there was not any for the past few days. The night was the time for these nocturnal killers to emerge from their adobe buildings, turned to rubble and blown away in pieces, a result of the war.
I carried my PSG1 sniper rifle from the scope, and spinting to the lights of my uints camp. They had set up the encampment with haste. A watch tower was already built, or just transported there, more likely. Through occasionaly gaps in the everlasting wall of clouds consuming the sky, I could see the moon. Here was nothing subtle about it. The moon was illuminated in a sanguine color. It's gearth was at full mass. The sanguine full moon watched through the faults in the clouds, staring down at me as I was at it.
Then, from the west, something was happening. I glanced at my watch, which it repiled back at me 12:00 exactly. There was some source of light emerging over the sandy horizon. I looked towards my site, which was as hushed as the town. It was still a few miles beyond me. I fell to the sand, in a prone postion, the sniper rifles butt against my shoulder, firm and re-assuring.
I didn't dare look through my scope, as the light grew more vivid, lmost towards a blinding point. My polarized glasses were harldy able to sustain the light, suppress the blindong source from crippling my vision. The darkness disperesed, fleeing from the illumination. I threw my hand towards my eyes, in obstacle to impede the lights blinding beams. There was a presence though, a presence of sanity and magnificence. There I waited.
Finally, the entity was gone. The light had subsided, but it was as clear as day. The darkness was not a factor, no longer existing. This abnormal light had made sure of that. I shot a glance at my watch once more. 12:01 A.M.
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Post by Uesugi on Apr 27, 2007 17:37:35 GMT -5
ever;asting=everlasting
I liked it Dagoth, but your word choice teeters between good and bad like the earth between night and day. Fortunately, most of the time, it is fairly good. But, at the end of the last paragraph of the first update, for example, 'quote' is a very poor choice, in my opinion.
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Post by Dagothkitty on Apr 27, 2007 17:39:40 GMT -5
I agree. I don't have a thesaurus though.
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Post by Uesugi on Apr 27, 2007 17:44:41 GMT -5
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Post by Dagothkitty on Apr 27, 2007 17:47:52 GMT -5
Thanks.
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Post by Dagothkitty on Apr 27, 2007 21:41:33 GMT -5
The sun was in the sky. The moon had as well with the darkness, fled before the dominant light. I stood up, checking my pulse. I even went to the extent as to pinch myself, to remind me I was indeed awake, even if I didn't want to accept that fact.
The camp was now teeming with activity, I could see it, even from the range between us. I pulled my Radio up, and tried to make contact with the site, but static conquered any tellible communication. I stamped the ground, cursing. I started to sprint towards the site again, making my way with all due haste, as if I was being chased by some rancid monster.
I didn't know how close I was to the truth. Behind me, the skies were darkening, but it was not from the nights dark quilt, it was from a mass of 'objects'. I looked behind my shoulder, as I could hear a peculiar buzzing noise now. The light was blotted. This alien light was now dominated, something that I had felt seemed impossible just moments ago. I stopped, to see if I could spare myself in determining if this was all but a dream. I brought up my binoculars, and turned on the Range button.
The number that indicated the range from me to them was changing with blistering speed as I scanned the cursor over the horde. It appeared that whatever this thing was, it was actually made of millions of smaller subjects. I stared in terrified awe. I could hear yelling behind me. A HUMVEE pulled to the side of me, and beckoned me to jump in. Thank God that instead of me using my senses, and turn to escape this strange oncoming volley of death, that the crew of the vehicle forcefully thrust me into their HUMVEE. I was paralyzed.
Even with my sense as a soldier, I could not initiate my insticts. Something I had spent more then twelve grueling months in training for. I failed myself, but thankfully my teamates had not.
"Marcus, man that 50!" The driver yelled, who I soon identified as Private Cole. I jumped through the hatch on the roof, and pulled the lever back on the Massive .50 caliber machine gun. I braced myself for the kick of the weapon, and let loose upon the nearing onslaught.
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Post by Uesugi on Apr 27, 2007 22:02:47 GMT -5
vehicl=vehicle
I applaud you. I honestly do. You gave a human reaction to a normal guy. You did something that seems just too rare on this site. Human emotions. I truly, truly applaud you. However, I can guess this is only taking place in Iraq? Or will it be some monster revelation to come with time?
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Post by Dagothkitty on Apr 27, 2007 22:06:12 GMT -5
Thanks.
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Post by Khornate Marksman on Apr 27, 2007 22:17:24 GMT -5
This is good Dagoth Some minor spelling errors, but nothing bad. I tell what you're saying. I suggest going back and fixing them.
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Post by Dagothkitty on Apr 27, 2007 22:26:58 GMT -5
This is good Dagoth Some minor spelling errors, but nothing bad. I tell what you're saying. I suggest going back and fixing them. What?
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Post by Khornate Marksman on Apr 27, 2007 22:28:16 GMT -5
I can tell what you're saying when reading the parts with errors.
There, all fixed.
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