Post by creative on May 12, 2007 19:37:59 GMT -5
The Nutters Series 2, episode 1.
"The Lift"
"I'm off to visit me old pal Danny Tarman," announced Herbert Nutter, "You coming?"
Fred tutted "Like I've got nothing better to do!"
Herbert "Have you?"
"No," replied Fred, "I haven't actually. I'll just get me coat."
On the way, Herbert glanced at the loacal cafe, "Bill's".
"Let's pop in here first for a bite to eat."
When they got to the counte, Fred said to Bill, "Right, I'll have 2 burnt toast, two charred eggs, rock hard tomatoes and half cooked sausages, garnished with a hair from your head. Oh and a cup of tea with a dash of dandruff."
"Hmm," said a confused Bill, "That's quite a difficult order to make just like that."
"Well," chuckled Fred, "You managed it fine yesterday!"
"Charming!" snapped Bill, "Finished insulting my food yet?"
"Well, now you mention it," Fred retorted, "I haven't. Now let's see, the sausages are so full of fat they can't see their feet. And the bacon's swimming in grease."
"Greece?" Bill replied, "I heard it's going to france next year. which is where I wish YOU were!"
Later, Fred and herbert entered the block of flats where Danny livved.
Along with a scruffily dressed man in his forties, and a woman in her early thirties with a baby, Fred and Herbert entered the lift.
The scruffy man, woman and Fred pressed the buttons for the floors they wanted to go to.
The lift doors closed, but the lift stayed where it was.
"It's not moving," Herbert tutted, pressing the button for floor six again.
Fred rolled his eyes, "And the award for stating the obvious goes to..."
"Here, let me try." said the woman with the baby. she pressed all the numbers in the lift, but to no avail.
So she pressed the 'door open' button, but still nothing happened.
"Only one thing for it, she said, pressing the alarm button.
"Great!" she snapped, "That's broken too."
"I'll use my mobile." Fred piped up, but...
"Brilliant! No signal! We're trapped!"
Later, the baby started crying.
"He needs his nappy changing. Sorry, but it has to be done."
After she'd finished, she said "My Mum's just got me this bag for my birthday, I can't put the nappy in here."
"Give it here," Fred said holding his nose, "I'll put it in my bag for now."
He was about to put it into the carrier bag he had containing an umbrella an a jacket, but stopped when he noticed nobody was looking, and threw it behind him instead.
A few minutes later, the woman with the baby pulled a pen and notepad from her bag and started scribbling something down. She tore off the sheet she had written on and gave it to Fred.
"My number, " she whispered, "Call me."
Late, fred said "I might be able to send a text message. Fortunately, he could so he sent one to his pal Jupiter with the details of what had happed and where they were.
"I'm having a sit down." sighed Herbert.
He sat down on the lift floor.
"Eurgh!" he grimmaced, "I've sat in something."
He puled the 'something' from underneath him, "A dirty nappy" he groaned.
Eventually, after Jupiter 'phoned them, the fire brigade arrived and freed those stuck in the lift.
Later, back at hom, Herbert opened a packet of 'Eat Me' dates. He held the pack out to Fred, "Fancy a date?" he said.
"No, thanks," Fred replied with a grin, "I've already got one!"
The End
In the next episode, The Rover Returns, Fred and Herbert get a shock when they see just who is at the door.
"The Lift"
"I'm off to visit me old pal Danny Tarman," announced Herbert Nutter, "You coming?"
Fred tutted "Like I've got nothing better to do!"
Herbert "Have you?"
"No," replied Fred, "I haven't actually. I'll just get me coat."
On the way, Herbert glanced at the loacal cafe, "Bill's".
"Let's pop in here first for a bite to eat."
When they got to the counte, Fred said to Bill, "Right, I'll have 2 burnt toast, two charred eggs, rock hard tomatoes and half cooked sausages, garnished with a hair from your head. Oh and a cup of tea with a dash of dandruff."
"Hmm," said a confused Bill, "That's quite a difficult order to make just like that."
"Well," chuckled Fred, "You managed it fine yesterday!"
"Charming!" snapped Bill, "Finished insulting my food yet?"
"Well, now you mention it," Fred retorted, "I haven't. Now let's see, the sausages are so full of fat they can't see their feet. And the bacon's swimming in grease."
"Greece?" Bill replied, "I heard it's going to france next year. which is where I wish YOU were!"
Later, Fred and herbert entered the block of flats where Danny livved.
Along with a scruffily dressed man in his forties, and a woman in her early thirties with a baby, Fred and Herbert entered the lift.
The scruffy man, woman and Fred pressed the buttons for the floors they wanted to go to.
The lift doors closed, but the lift stayed where it was.
"It's not moving," Herbert tutted, pressing the button for floor six again.
Fred rolled his eyes, "And the award for stating the obvious goes to..."
"Here, let me try." said the woman with the baby. she pressed all the numbers in the lift, but to no avail.
So she pressed the 'door open' button, but still nothing happened.
"Only one thing for it, she said, pressing the alarm button.
"Great!" she snapped, "That's broken too."
"I'll use my mobile." Fred piped up, but...
"Brilliant! No signal! We're trapped!"
Later, the baby started crying.
"He needs his nappy changing. Sorry, but it has to be done."
After she'd finished, she said "My Mum's just got me this bag for my birthday, I can't put the nappy in here."
"Give it here," Fred said holding his nose, "I'll put it in my bag for now."
He was about to put it into the carrier bag he had containing an umbrella an a jacket, but stopped when he noticed nobody was looking, and threw it behind him instead.
A few minutes later, the woman with the baby pulled a pen and notepad from her bag and started scribbling something down. She tore off the sheet she had written on and gave it to Fred.
"My number, " she whispered, "Call me."
Late, fred said "I might be able to send a text message. Fortunately, he could so he sent one to his pal Jupiter with the details of what had happed and where they were.
"I'm having a sit down." sighed Herbert.
He sat down on the lift floor.
"Eurgh!" he grimmaced, "I've sat in something."
He puled the 'something' from underneath him, "A dirty nappy" he groaned.
Eventually, after Jupiter 'phoned them, the fire brigade arrived and freed those stuck in the lift.
Later, back at hom, Herbert opened a packet of 'Eat Me' dates. He held the pack out to Fred, "Fancy a date?" he said.
"No, thanks," Fred replied with a grin, "I've already got one!"
The End
In the next episode, The Rover Returns, Fred and Herbert get a shock when they see just who is at the door.