Umaril
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Posts: 1,045
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Waiting
Feb 24, 2007 18:41:52 GMT -5
Post by Umaril on Feb 24, 2007 18:41:52 GMT -5
Along the coast she stands, waiting, For a long lost love, she ponders his fate. There is one who knows, but not she, And he is not far, searching.
Getting colder now, she cries, And that one man is closer. He is travelling the cliffs, running, She is near now, he knows, he can smell.
She falls to the ground, her beautiful hair flows into the dust, Behind her now, that one is waiting, For a chance, a chance...... to kill.
And as he sinks his teeth in, Her love in dismay is watching, From that high place above, waiting.
Please comment on this.
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Waiting
Feb 24, 2007 18:50:38 GMT -5
Post by Khornate Marksman on Feb 24, 2007 18:50:38 GMT -5
Awesome, I like how it starts out with the girl standing there waiting. It reminded me of the those tales of woman who stand vigilant on a tall rock looking out at sea for any signs of their Sailor Husbands.
The last two stanzas changed the whole poem from calm and peaceful to dark and foreboding. Quite an interesting twist at the end.
Good job, ;D
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Waiting
Feb 24, 2007 19:22:22 GMT -5
Post by dirkfarkin on Feb 24, 2007 19:22:22 GMT -5
Neat.
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Umaril
Rookie
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Posts: 1,045
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Waiting
Feb 24, 2007 19:41:26 GMT -5
Post by Umaril on Feb 24, 2007 19:41:26 GMT -5
Thanks hound and Dirk.
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Waiting
Feb 25, 2007 10:04:33 GMT -5
Post by BloodMoonWolf on Feb 25, 2007 10:04:33 GMT -5
It was good umaril I liked it. Nice twisty ending
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Umaril
Rookie
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Posts: 1,045
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Waiting
Feb 25, 2007 10:14:26 GMT -5
Post by Umaril on Feb 25, 2007 10:14:26 GMT -5
hehe ;D
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Waiting
Feb 25, 2007 12:17:07 GMT -5
Post by karn on Feb 25, 2007 12:17:07 GMT -5
Mmmmm it was ok. I'm not into this kinda stuff though.
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Umaril
Rookie
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Posts: 1,045
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Waiting
Feb 25, 2007 13:34:11 GMT -5
Post by Umaril on Feb 25, 2007 13:34:11 GMT -5
Why did you delete your account and join again?
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Waiting
Feb 25, 2007 13:35:22 GMT -5
Post by renofthefallenstar on Feb 25, 2007 13:35:22 GMT -5
I didn't even say anything here, so loki is right you are paranoid. Good poem btw.
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Umaril
Rookie
[M:0]
Posts: 1,045
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Waiting
Feb 25, 2007 13:41:56 GMT -5
Post by Umaril on Feb 25, 2007 13:41:56 GMT -5
Everyone should be paranoid now, with all of your accounts.
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Waiting
Feb 25, 2007 13:43:03 GMT -5
Post by renofthefallenstar on Feb 25, 2007 13:43:03 GMT -5
I only had three in all. all the others were deleted.
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Waiting
Feb 25, 2007 15:05:38 GMT -5
Post by Dagothkitty on Feb 25, 2007 15:05:38 GMT -5
Not bad.
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