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One day
Jun 11, 2007 19:41:29 GMT -5
Post by BloodMoonWolf on Jun 11, 2007 19:41:29 GMT -5
One day I'll come thru battered doors.
That day my brothers will march
and with burning skies we will fight.
My rage unleashed you'll see no mercy...
and thru cold eyes i'll see the animal you are.
Our blades will pierce your flesh like burning embers.
The blood stained ground will match the sky
Like a red sea filled of forgoten souls.
Betrayal is in the air like the rotting stench of the dead.
My end will come just like yours....one day
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One day
Jun 12, 2007 0:38:28 GMT -5
Post by me on Jun 12, 2007 0:38:28 GMT -5
Forgot a space between with and your
Some capitilization problem, but overall its pretty good
Oh and several letters are missing
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One day
Jun 12, 2007 5:55:19 GMT -5
Post by BloodMoonWolf on Jun 12, 2007 5:55:19 GMT -5
Ok that it was not like that. some parts of the sentence switched with another as I posted it I guess. I changed it tho so its good now.
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One day
Jun 13, 2007 5:28:30 GMT -5
Post by lanaia74 on Jun 13, 2007 5:28:30 GMT -5
You are very talented! VERY well done!
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One day
Jun 13, 2007 5:53:19 GMT -5
Post by BloodMoonWolf on Jun 13, 2007 5:53:19 GMT -5
Thank you. I'm not much of a poet but I wanted to start getting better.
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