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Post by OGRenderence on Sept 24, 2006 22:08:11 GMT -5
The Legion moved up the slope towards Crowhaven, they had 20 members with them. Along with them was a Fighter's guild Champion, only know as the Champion, 10 Swordsmen, also from the Fighter's Guild, and a Warlock, who would be needed if any magical traps were found. They were to destroy the evil presence that had appeared in the old fort, the evil had killed atleast a dozen civilians. They soon arrived at their destination, and saw what remained of the innocent civilians. Bones, with chunks of meat hanging off of them, and scrapes of clothes. A Legionaire caught a sob before it excaped all the way, his wife had been killed here, and now he could not tell which corpse was her's. The door was open slightly open, beckoning them in, as if it were posessed by an evil spirit. The wind wound it's way through the doorway and made the sound of heavy breathing. The stench rolling out was the stench of doom and death itself! Most of the Legionairres knew they were never going to get out of the nightmare they were about to enter. A legionairre walked to the door and began to open the door. Walking to the door, a legionairre pushed the door open slowly, a loud screeching sound emenating. Smiling nervously, he turns back to the door. Suddenly, a hand springs out, fast as lightning and pulls him to the ground. Sreaming, he unsheathes his blade and trys to cut at it as the fine sword is wrenched from his grip. A dark hole swallows him, reminding him of the dark gates of oblivion. Bursting into the room, the squad of Legionairres saw a site that made their blood freeze. Laying on the floor, a rotting zombie chews on his neck, slowly flowing from his neck. The fleshbag stands up and slumps towards the group slowly. Raising his hands, the warlock pushes his robe sleeves back. Chanting loudly, flames swirl over his hands. The flames leap from his gloved hand and engulfs the undead beast. The smell of searing flesh fills the air. Jaw slacked in agony, he falls to the ground and slowly burns. From the light of flicker light, they see a black star drawn with the dust of vampires. Surrounding it was a circle of the blood from the body of a Dreugh. Seeing that it was incomplete, they all sigh in relief, their fear lessening. No sacrafice had been made yet, so he was slightly less scared of any undead or Deadric creatures ahead. The champion moved just behind the Warlock and stopped just outside of the Pentagram and watched the Warlock begin to destroy the unholy sign, but it was soon cut short as an arrow flew straight into the mage's heart! The Warlock slumped down in the center of the pentagram. A Legion Forester fired an arrow at the black figure above them. The man was hit and fell into the shadows. The Champion told the Legionaires to charge the back and kill the leader, who had been called Shade. The legion and five of the swordsmen ran off towards their target. The Champion stood and waited for his men to return, he turned and saw a man shambling towards him. The Champion saw that a large hole was ripped from the poor man's side. He called in a weak voice "H-h-h-help.....m-m-meee....." After he said that blood began to gush from the gaping wound. The Champion rushed forward and checked the man. It was Mark, the leader of the Smuggler's Cave Pirates. The Champion looked up and saw a horror that left him speakless. Twenty-four zombies walked towards him, all of them the soldiers he had sent to kill the leader. Was all evil this powerful, he thought to himself. He turned and tried to run towards the door, but as he came within ten feet it closed on it's own. He began to panic, but even that was cut short as a thin cord went around his neck and tightened! Tightened so hard that it was soon cutting through the skin. The remaining Swordsmen would serve more then one perpose this day.....
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Post by DEATH97 on Sept 25, 2006 12:48:53 GMT -5
I like it, but I'd recommend breaking the text up a bit. One big block of text like that strains the eyes. Nothing wrong with the story though.
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Post by OGRenderence on Sept 25, 2006 15:46:30 GMT -5
I was going to do that, but my mom was getting pissed. Dagonda improved some of this
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Post by OGRenderence on Sept 25, 2006 16:00:11 GMT -5
The Legion moved up the slope towards Crowhaven, they had 20 members with them. Along with them was a Fighter's guild Champion, only know as the Champion, 10 Swordsmen, also from the Fighter's Guild, and a Warlock, who would be needed if any magical traps were found. They were to destroy the evil presence that had appeared in the old fort, the evil had killed atleast a dozen civilians. They soon arrived at their destination, and saw what remained of the innocent civilians. Bones, with chunks of meat hanging off of them, and scrapes of clothes. A Legionaire caught a sob before it excaped all the way, his wife had been killed here, and now he could not tell which corpse was her's. The door was open slightly open, beckoning them in, as if it were posessed by an evil spirit. The wind wound it's way through the doorway and made the sound of heavy breathing. The stench rolling out was the stench of doom and death itself! Most of the Legionairres knew they were never going to get out of the nightmare they were about to enter. A legionairre walked to the door and began to open the door. Walking to the door, a legionairre pushed the door open slowly, a loud screeching sound emenating. Smiling nervously, he turns back to the door. Suddenly, a hand springs out, fast as lightning and pulls him to the ground. Sreaming, he unsheathes his blade and trys to cut at it as the fine sword is wrenched from his grip. A dark hole swallows him, reminding him of the dark gates of oblivion. Bursting into the room, the squad of Legionairres saw a site that made their blood freeze. Laying on the floor, a rotting zombie chews on his neck, slowly flowing from his neck. The fleshbag stands up and slumps towards the group slowly. Raising his hands, the warlock pushes his robe sleeves back. Chanting loudly, flames swirl over his hands. The flames leap from his gloved hand and engulfs the undead beast. The smell of searing flesh fills the air. Jaw slacked in agony, he falls to the ground and slowly burns. From the light of flicker light, they see a black star drawn with the dust of vampires. Surrounding it was a circle of the blood from the body of a Dreugh. Seeing that it was incomplete, they all sigh in relief, their fear lessening. No sacrafice had been made yet, so he was slightly less scared of any undead or Deadric creatures ahead. The champion moved just behind the Warlock and stopped just outside of the Pentagram and watched the Warlock begin to destroy the unholy sign, but it was soon cut short as an arrow flew straight into the mage's heart! The Warlock slumped down in the center of the pentagram. A Legion Forester fired an arrow at the black figure above them. The man was hit and fell into the shadows. The Champion told the Legionaires to charge the back and kill the leader, who had been called Shade. The legion and five of the swordsmen ran off towards their target. The Champion stood and waited for his men to return, he turned and saw a man shambling towards him. The Champion saw that a large hole was ripped from the poor man's side. He called in a weak voice "H-h-h-help.....m-m-meee....." After he said that blood began to gush from the gaping wound. The Champion rushed forward and checked the man. It was Mark, the leader of the Smuggler's Cave Pirates. The Champion looked up and saw a horror that left him speakless. Twenty-four zombies walked towards him, all of them the soldiers he had sent to kill the leader. Was all evil this powerful, he thought to himself. He turned and tried to run towards the door, but as he came within ten feet it closed on it's own. He began to panic, but even that was cut short as a thin cord went around his neck and tightened! Tightened so hard that it was soon cutting through the skin. The remaining Swordsmen would serve more then one perpose this day.....
Reposted with a easier look to it.
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Post by DEATH97 on Sept 25, 2006 16:14:36 GMT -5
I'm not sure about this.. because I'm a moderator, but I think you can modify this post on the top right corner. you can then repost the upgraded version over the original..(assuming you'd want to do that.) and you could still break it up. Not sure, but I think you can go in and modify your own threads like that. just makes it look alittle neater and more professional.
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Post by OGRenderence on Sept 25, 2006 16:15:39 GMT -5
You mean this has modify? OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JK!
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Post by DEATH97 on Sept 25, 2006 16:16:14 GMT -5
Mwahahahaha
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Post by OGRenderence on Sept 25, 2006 16:17:00 GMT -5
I have a hard time remebering the modify button.
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Post by Maliku on Sept 26, 2006 19:06:59 GMT -5
I liked it, but why did the Warlock have to die? Warlocks are badass, anyway great story.
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Post by OGRenderence on Sept 26, 2006 19:37:02 GMT -5
Because you will need to find out more.
Want to?
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Post by Maliku on Sept 26, 2006 19:38:34 GMT -5
Yes, I do.
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Post by OGRenderence on Sept 26, 2006 19:43:49 GMT -5
K. Karn, OGWren and Shade will all be there.
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Post by Maliku on Sept 26, 2006 19:55:11 GMT -5
Awesome.
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Post by OGRenderence on Sept 26, 2006 19:55:49 GMT -5
Did I get your MSN right?
ben_bockrath11@hotmail.com
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Post by Maliku on Sept 26, 2006 20:03:44 GMT -5
Yeah
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