VICTORBRAVO
Inactive Member
~The Super Soldier Writer~
RAWR! Its VICTORBRAVO!
Posts: 72
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Post by VICTORBRAVO on Sept 23, 2006 19:53:07 GMT -5
Ill post the beggining VERY soon. If not today, by tommorow.
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Post by Dagothkitty on Sept 23, 2006 19:53:41 GMT -5
Good, looking forward to it!
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VICTORBRAVO
Inactive Member
~The Super Soldier Writer~
RAWR! Its VICTORBRAVO!
Posts: 72
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Post by VICTORBRAVO on Sept 23, 2006 20:15:10 GMT -5
Its a little bit less descriptive than I would like it to be, and needs a spell and grammar check, but for now it will work. Its not about Oblvion though. Sorry... Ill write a CYOA about Oblvion later. The begginings almost done. Just a few more paragraphs.
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Post by Dagothkitty on Sept 23, 2006 20:16:44 GMT -5
Thats fine, don't have to be about oblivion.
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VICTORBRAVO
Inactive Member
~The Super Soldier Writer~
RAWR! Its VICTORBRAVO!
Posts: 72
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Post by VICTORBRAVO on Sept 23, 2006 21:01:18 GMT -5
It needs A LOT of changing and expanding, but its a base. Im also going to make a better intro, and make this part right here at LEAST twice (Yes that long, and this is a small beginning) as long and descriptive.
The newly crowned emporer sat in his new throne. His mind deep in thought. How could this have happened? His father lay dead now, and his brother Arcanus was now a traitor. He would kill Arcanus. But how? Arcanus was always the strongest brother. Older, more knowledgable. Cartage sighed and looked to his bodyguard, Cellion. "The empire is in utter chaos, and here I am stuck in the middle of it." "Dont worry sir, Ive got your back." Assured Cellion.
"Yeah, at least I still have your help" At this point Cartage was trying to re-assure himself. It wasnt working. "Cellion, Im going tommorow, alone." Cellion nodded. He understood. He wouldnt show his face, but he would follow the emporer. He couldnt deal with the loss of another. "Tell the men to have a horse ready." Cellion nodded again, and quickly ran to tell the men, while Cartage readied his armor and sword. He would have to kill his own brother. There was no escaping it, but he wished he could. His mind continued to wonder and he drifted to sleep at his throne.
"My lord! Awake! Arcanus has sent a message!" The messenger ran in bearing a note. On it was his brothers seal. Arcanus has definitly sent it. Cartage opened the note. He scanned it over quickly. Just as quickly he closed it. "No... He cant attack now!" It was time to worry. Though his brother had very little troops, and almost all of them scattered, Arcanus alone could claim the whole empire. Cartage grabbed his sword. "Tell all men to fortify defences." He quickly grabbed his armor, and strapped it on as fast as possible. Time was of the essence. He ran outside to the stables. There sat Blink. A beautiful white stallion. He was the fastest horse in the stables, and was very reliable. Cartages since he was a child.
Cartage mounted Blink, and rode as fast as he could. Arcanus' small castle was not far, but was deep in the forest. Easy terrain. Especialy for Cartages brilliant horse, Blink. After a short time, he saw his brothers castle. While small, it was still formidable. He would enter with some caution.
Blink galloped to a halt, stopping at the castle door. No need to knock. Manners were of no need here. Cartage pushed the doors aside all his force. There, on the throne sat Tiberious. Tiberious was Arcanus' little pet, but was still strong. His skin was a chalky white with green veins and tint running through it. His skin almost looked waxed over. His hair was long , yet stringy and grubby. He was starting to go bald. Like a dead man.
"Well well, look whos here, its Emporer Cartage." Laughed Tiberious in a calm manner, his face cold, and unforgiving. Cartage walked closer to him, he could smell his breath. Rancid and foul.
"Let me see your lord" Shouted Cartage. "This war is unfounded, and he will not win if he starts!"
"Hmm... I think not." Scoffed Tiberious. Fury pounded through Cartages blood. He closed his eyes. Anger wouldnt solve this. "Listen, mage. We can talk this out, or I can kill you right now,choose, and choose fast. My patience with you wears thin."
"Really? " Tiberious hurled out a fireball, but Cartage was far too fast. With a swift move he lunged out his sword and struck Tiberious in half. His green blood spilled on the floor and Tiberious screamed in pain. Cartage quickly thrust his sword into the mages head, ending his miserable life. "Come out now Arcanus, you damn coward!" Shouted Cartage. "If you come now, I might make your death fast!" An enormous force suddenly gripped Cartage. He was flung into one of the castles high walls. Its a was a miracle he didnt snap in half right there.
Cartage lay on the floor. Nearly lifeless. Then out strode a magnificent figure. Pitch black robes, white hair, and the most brilliant shining medalion even the young emporer had seen. "You should have brought your guard Cartage, youre hoplessly lost without them" Cartage squirmed, trying to move, or even talk. "You see Cartage, you are a weak emporer. You hardly even fufill our father standards." Cartage at this point was bursting with anger and hate. He was going to get up. He must. "And now my brother, you die and I take my right to the throne!" Arcanus drew his sword, but before he could kill Cartage, and arrow flew into his chest.
"Cellion?" Gasped Cartage, "Is that you"
Cellion kneeled down and picked up the emporer, shouldering him over to Aracanus. Cellion plucked his arrow from Arcanus' chest. Acanus seemed lifeless enough, but the trickery of a mage could never be trusted. Cellion grabbed his dagger. He thrust it through Arcanus' heart, ripping it from his chest, and wrapping it in cloth. Proof, that the dark mage was dead. But now, Cellion had another problem. His lord. Cartage was limp and pale. Arcanus had cleary almost sucked the life straight out of him. He flung him onto Blink. The horse could find its own way home.
Cellion rode beside Blink for the journey home. At this point he knew his lord was in dying and every second counted. The city was close, but he worried that he might not make it in time. Soon of course, his worries were set to rest. He saw the city. The doors opened quickly and he flew in speeding past the citizens, the guards and the merchants. He grabbed Cartage and handed him off to the healers.
" He will live but needs rest, and medical attention. He will stay with us." The healers quickly bandaged what scrapes he had, and performed a few healing spells. He would be to stay in the castle bed. Cellion sighed a sigh of relief and put him back on his horse.
A voice muttered something into Cartages ear. He awoke in a cold sweat. He still felt weak, even moving just a little bit seemed impossible. Every move strained him . He heard the voice again. It was faint, and hard to understand, but it was there. "Whos there." The voice spoke clear this time. Cartage knew the voice.
"You didnt think it would be that easy did you brother?"
"No... he killed you."
"Cellion did not kill me. I now live through you. I did not drain youre life, I took it for my own, at least for now. I will take what I need from you, untill I can support myself. Untill I can ressurect my body. Then I can dispose of you."
This is a it of a start... Like I said. It will be better, and longer when Im done. Ill change the lines I didnt like and that didnt flow.
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VICTORBRAVO
Inactive Member
~The Super Soldier Writer~
RAWR! Its VICTORBRAVO!
Posts: 72
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Post by VICTORBRAVO on Sept 23, 2006 21:02:01 GMT -5
Its longer than I thought now that I look at it...
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Post by Dagothkitty on Sept 23, 2006 21:08:15 GMT -5
Very good!!! Very original. I look forward to the revised edition.
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VICTORBRAVO
Inactive Member
~The Super Soldier Writer~
RAWR! Its VICTORBRAVO!
Posts: 72
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Post by VICTORBRAVO on Sept 23, 2006 21:15:03 GMT -5
The revised one wont be done for a while. I need to make an intro, revise that, then revise this. Ill post it here, then keep going with the rest of the story.
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Post by DEATH97 on Sept 23, 2006 21:49:19 GMT -5
Nice work, I like it.
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VICTORBRAVO
Inactive Member
~The Super Soldier Writer~
RAWR! Its VICTORBRAVO!
Posts: 72
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Post by VICTORBRAVO on Sept 23, 2006 21:50:29 GMT -5
*Dances* Really?
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Post by Dagothkitty on Sept 23, 2006 22:07:39 GMT -5
Yes
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Post by DEATH97 on Sept 25, 2006 15:19:51 GMT -5
^
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VICTORBRAVO
Inactive Member
~The Super Soldier Writer~
RAWR! Its VICTORBRAVO!
Posts: 72
|
Post by VICTORBRAVO on Sept 25, 2006 15:38:22 GMT -5
The revisions are almost halfway done, and the intos coming along.
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