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Post by Uesugi on Apr 19, 2007 17:48:43 GMT -5
I am poor at conveying emotion as well, but, responses, no matter how poorly written, should be reasonable to a degree... but maybe that is just nit picking.
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Post by me on Apr 19, 2007 18:53:51 GMT -5
I go to practice and look what happens! You sneak an update in.
Anyway While you didn't quite peg the emotion... You did do well writing up their conversation....something I suck at.
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Post by DEATH97 on Apr 20, 2007 1:31:53 GMT -5
I liked the update. I also felt that the feeling of meeting his dead sister felt a bit odd. I don't yet know of their past relationship, but the fact that he thought his little sister was dead but when he sees her alive he already views her as annoying. I would had a bit different reaction.
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Post by Disaster <3 on Apr 20, 2007 7:32:21 GMT -5
well... I'm going to fix that... on like... Saturday because I'm going to a friend's house tonight.
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Post by Dagothkitty on Apr 21, 2007 12:01:26 GMT -5
It's good, I enjoyed it. I agree with death. It was a nice twist, or surprise rather, but I think that you could have taken a lot more 'interesting', or suspensful path with it. Like finding them to be allies with the enemy? More drama, and emotion, good stuff. Wel,, since I don't know what I'm talking about, I am just going to edn my suggestions with this. Keep it going, I enjoyed it.
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