|
Post by Pentium Evil on Oct 5, 2006 9:06:48 GMT -5
[glow=red,2,300] There is a fine line between good and evil Sometimes that line gets cut [/glow]
|
|
Raistlin
Beginner
I'm tired.
Posts: 2,451
|
Post by Raistlin on Oct 5, 2006 14:17:20 GMT -5
Oh really?
|
|
|
Post by DEATH97 on Oct 5, 2006 14:53:55 GMT -5
And sometimes, if you slip the bouncer a 20, he'll just let you cut all the way to the front.
|
|
|
Post by Delta1212 on Oct 5, 2006 20:18:03 GMT -5
And sometimes people post stories instead of promos... Not usually, though.
|
|
|
Post by DEATH97 on Oct 6, 2006 18:27:30 GMT -5
Ah nothin wrong with alittle teaser Delta!!
|
|
|
Post by Maliku on Oct 6, 2006 19:06:46 GMT -5
I hate teasers, I'm still waiting for two of your stories Death.
|
|
|
Post by DEATH97 on Oct 6, 2006 19:11:46 GMT -5
I was trying to wait till I finished Marked, but I guess I'm going to have to speed things up
|
|
|
Post by Dagothkitty on Oct 15, 2006 14:08:08 GMT -5
is their supposed to be a story to this?
|
|
|
Post by Pentium Evil on Oct 31, 2006 10:17:34 GMT -5
Seri Naffir City, a den of criminals, mobs, and dark wizard gangs. Thousands of years ago, back in the Middle Ages, it was a quaint city, ruled by a single King. All was well and it was prosperous.
But now, in the Year of Attrimma 4562 the city is dead. The Corporations rule the high ground, the labels, the money decides whether people live or die. And on the low ground, gangs of Orcs, Assassins, Dragonis and Manuin over run the sewers and alleys, promoting violence and hate. But there is a middle ground.
CHAPTER ONE - Ties that Bind
The rain danced, trickling on the empty roads in a glorious symphony.The skyscrapers and the people. It's glory ever swift as each drop fell invisible under the nights sky making a single quick appearance as it came to light over the flickering lamp posts glow before dissapearing forever onto the hard ground without so much as a turn of the head. The buildings were delapidated, most of them shut down, borded up old shops. The doors and windows sealed with cheap rotting wood. The darkness of the alleys were littered with vagrants, people slowly but surely dying. These were the slums of Seri Naffir.
(Sorry but I have to go I'll need to continue this later.)
|
|
|
Post by DEATH97 on Oct 31, 2006 14:31:16 GMT -5
Nice start. I like it so far.
|
|
|
Post by Maliku on Nov 2, 2006 23:04:19 GMT -5
*wants more*
|
|
|
Post by Pentium Evil on May 13, 2007 19:39:07 GMT -5
The screech of burning rubber echoed through the crowded buildings as a blue sedan pulled up on the outskirts of one of many dark alleys. The doors almost in unison swung open, kicking the air back to make way for these evils.
Thick leather boots stomped the earth as the first of three passengers exposed themselves to the pouring wet. Standing at six foot, scarred green skin hidden under hooded coat, an Orc. The next an Elf, long pointed ears and long blonde hair. Lightly built but heavily tattooed, with no coat his hair hung covering his face. The final, the driver. A lizard man, a Skalic, cloaked in green and red scales, large yellow eyes and long treacherous teeth . Clad in spiked leather, like his clothes his head sprouted many thick spikes wondering in wild anarchy.
They stood together, staring down the alleyways, the numerous peasants, suffering and crying for mercy were below them, and they ignored without concern. As the rain ran down his face the Elf, staring at the floor in casual hate, opened his mouth, "We should hurry this up, it's too cold out here." They began to storm down the alley. "You Elves, so sensitive." The Orc laughed. "Keep your tongue behind your crooked teeth."
The Elf threatened him and the Orc remained silent, he didn't want a repeat of last time he badmouthed the Elf. The Skalic smirked at the Orc's cowardice.
"Why do we need to meet in these disgusting squalors? The stench is overpowering." The Orc complained. "It's for security, The Guard has increased its efficiency." The Skalic said. "How? They haven't got any new recruits, they just say that to scare idiots." "They're all weaklings anyway, not strong enough for the power they're supposed to hold." "Shut up you two! There he is." The Elf yelled. And before them his silouhette blurred under the rain and dimness of the light that swung over his head. The Elf, Orc and Skalic stood before him, his appearance still concealed. "Did you bring the item?" He said in a dark, hateful voice. "Yessir, the last one" the Skalic said. "...It was hard to obtain mind you."
The Orc reached into his right pocket, searching around and clenching his fingers tight around it, the item was a glowing blue stone, jagged and untampered with, he held it before the stranger. “Good, now about your payment…” The stranger said reaching into the pocket of his black trenchcoat. “This better be good, we spent a lot of effort on this operation!” The Elf yelled. “I’m afraid all I can offer you is a quick death my friends.” The stranger pulled a sub-machine gun, squeezing the trigger the booming echo as each bullet pierced flesh, crashed against rock and metal, blood spilt in a beautiful ballroom dance with the pouring rain, each drop signalling the end of evils.
Scream and shock blasted out almost deafening the bullets, then silence. Their lifeless bodies collapsed on the cold stone, blood watered down by an angry storm that began to roll in harder. The stranger stepped out of the darkness over their bodies.
Light skin, short spiked hair bright as the sun and blue eyes that glowed like the moonlight. He stood over them without pity; he crouched down and pulled the item from the Orc’s cold hands. Staring at it as it’s glow gave his emotionless face a blue tint, in one fell swoop he crushed the stone to dust, blue shards scattering over the corpses.
He stood and turned away and slowly walked off into the night, putting away the instrument of death in his soaked coat. His glory ever swift as he fell invisible under the night’s sky making a single quick appearance as he came to light over the flickering lamp posts glow before disappearing forever into the night without so much as a turn of the head.
|
|
|
Post by me on May 13, 2007 21:44:26 GMT -5
Just a tip, but press enter twice after each paragraph, makes it easier to read.
Good description, some good dialouge, but I didn't like how he just killed them. First Machine guns are darn hard to hide, second he should at least silence it, and third...it just isn't logical. A heavy pay-off will ensure silence almnost as well, and leave them as an option for future...item....needs.
|
|
|
Post by me on May 13, 2007 21:45:29 GMT -5
And its darn good to see a series started!
|
|
|
Post by Pentium Evil on May 13, 2007 21:51:18 GMT -5
Actually it says in there that it was the last of the items, they had outlived their usefulness
|
|